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Two social media gurus, each reflecting on the same conference experience (SXSW), wrote about how they and others might have a better experience— something more fun, more interesting , and more enriching.
Their insights, and your personal reflections on them, might help you frame your AOM conference experience differently this year…. What do you think?
Click through to read about “Being Open & Deep” and “Being Sexier in Person (at conferences)” …
Are you Open and Deep? by Jonathan Fields | 03/23/09
At conferences, Fields offers this challenge… and invitation to explore two things:
- Suspend judgment – Look past what appears to be immediate differences in style and approach and engage in a deliberate quest to find and connect with the essence, the value in others, regardless of how different they appear to be. If you live in NYC long enough, this becomes pretty necessary for survival. But, I’ve discovered it’s not nearly a universal trait.
- Dig Deeper – Spend a bit less time in fluffy, “so, what do you do?” conversations and more time talking about what matters most to you and others. Create opportunities not just to “network” (a word I increasingly dislike), but to connect with people on a more meaningful, impactful level. Fluff and cordiality make for easy conversation, but easy conversation doesn’t make life richer, “real” conversation does.
So, what do you think?
Would people get too freaked if you walked up to them and instead of asking, “what do you do,” you asked, “what do you care about?”
Give it a try and see what unfolds. You may be amazed…
Be Sexier in Person (at conferences, specifically) June 11, 2008
The next time you’re at a conference, and if you haven’t met me, I want you to try something. The rest of you who don’t intend to meet me, have already met me, or who just want to know what I’m getting at, stay tuned. Here’s the thing: you’ve gotta work on how you present yourself. There’s so much value inside you (okay, MOST of you). You’re really loaded with interesting things, and sure, maybe some of us have to pare down some of what we want to share, but let’s just look at this a moment together. You’ve gotta be sexier in person.
Disclaimer None of this is meant towards any particular person that I’ve met in the last several years. Instead, it’s meant towards me, some of you, and some people I observe in social settings. If you’ve recently met me, I don’t mean you.
Confidence
If I stopped this post now, that’d be enough. If you don’t present yourself as confident, you’re already off on the wrong foot. It’s that simple. Why? Because I need to believe that you have value as you’re coming up to talk with me at the event. I have to feel that you’re pretty comfy with who you are as a person, and you’re looking to reach out and make new relationships to further develop your capabilities and ideas.
If you don’t have confidence right off, here are some tips: think about the three things that someone who’s really proud of who you are would say about you. Don’t tell ME these things, but have them in your mind. If you’re worried how the other person might receive you, stop. Instead, believe with all your heart that you deserve to be there, that you’re smart, that you are just as important.
And you know what? If the person you’re meeting you, after all that, STILL treats you like crap, then you smile politely, walk away, and flush that out of your head as fast as you can, because it’s definitely not you.
Be Brief
Here’s a spot where pretty much everybody could learn a lesson. I need reminders of this all the time. What happens is something like this: we make connection, we talk with someone we like, and we accidentally worry that the other person won’t know we’re smart, funny, useful, whatever. It’s almost like we’re drowning and we have to say everything, in case we never meet again.
Stay brief. Don’t ramble. Be confident that your small elevator pitch as to who you are, what you’re into, and why you’re happy to connect is enough. Believe with all your heart that you’ll have time to unpack what it is you need to say.
Finish Strong
Sometimes, everything goes great, but then people don’t know when to break off the conversation and go meet new folks. Why? Because maybe that’s all there was. If the person wants you to stay, they’ll usually give you indications of that. If they are all done with the conversation, and pay really close attention, they will give body language that says this. Truly. Just keep your eyes open, and you’ll get a sense of when to scram. Don’t scram earlier than that (unless you have to go). That’ll show a lack of confidence.
